reasons on how to live pt. 2

the fear at the heart of the thing is:

a) the crawl will swallow me before i've had a chance at my everything, everyone or no
b) that the everyone, after having quickly put out my eyes and mind, will have done it better

reasons on how to live

look at what you do, everyone has done that, everyone has done what you do, everything you have done has been done, everyone knows what you have done, how you have done it, everyone, everyone, how do you do, everyone is one, you are everyone

the forest from when you were a kid

they pushed from underneath . . they climbed on top like treehouses
they said . . find a hammer and a nail
they said stick her there where it's always half-sleep

she drove a car out to die looking for the deep place
her eyes were dogs for it
she thought . . gotta get get get me back
she laughed like wood on wood
she ate to feel the break in her

follow the dot

planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press
planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press
planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press
planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press
planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press
planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press planet dad press

ok city

i am tired of being me i am tired of being this lonely, unhappy adult i am tired of feeling stressed out i am tired of that feeling, the feeling of missing 'something' i am tired of missing out i am tired of feeling heartsick i am tired of my throat and my mouth and my eyes and my eyes are tired

i am tired of only writing about it in this blog

i want to scream it out but my chest is tight and my words come out small, if at all

i am tired and i never want to sleep, always want to sleep