i feel the ridges of myself and fear of them

i teared up when dumbledore died.

i teared up during the "where the wild things are" trailer too.

i feel silly but at the same time it is reassuring that i am able to feel that sort of emotion, though who am i kidding.

i remember the time that i bawled in front of the computer for an hour because my friend ben told me his grandiose plan for making the human race love each other, fully.

i nearly whited out the night of the midnight debates. listened to scott talk about how he was falling apart, how alienated he felt from not only everyone around him but his own self as well; overwhelming joy listening to anathallo's "italo" on repeat; despair thanks to cameron; something else thanks to a girl, then it happened.

i suppose most times i try to guard myself from it. other times i am oppressed, almost to the point where i cannot move or breathe.

i am probably just being melodramatic.

in other news i punched a lion in the face at a bar then fucked his girlfriend without a rubber.